Sometimes life takes you places you never knew you wanted to go.

Since being displaced  from our RV last June and staying with family we had been endlessly searching for somewhere to be, somewhere to feel at home so we could have  a new beginning. Matt had an opportunity to go be apart of a brand new project, in a place we both swore we would never go; for a multitude of reasons, the desert.  But since we were urgently looking for a change we graciously accepted and started making plans.

Our plans to bring our truck and trailer down to the desert fell through the week before we were scheduled to leave. Our transfer case went out and there wasn't enough time to get it fixed before we left. So the truck sits in the shop and the trailer stayed where it was at in storage and we scrambled to figure out what this family of four needed for four months and how we were going to fit it all into a Kia Sportage.  For those that know us know that we live a fairly uncluttered and minimalistic life, you would not know this if you looked into our car the day we left Washington to head south.  All of the things add up, the Sippy cups, the toys, the pack-n-plays, the stroller, clothes, diapers (because we had just received our monthly shipment from Honest Co.) and the baby-proofing to ensure our little escape artists don't actually escape.  What was expected to be not a big deal and already in the trailer quickly turned into the biggest game of Tetris ever, but we did it! There was stuff EVERYWHERE!

 

We typically like to leave about 3 am on our road trips, mainly to miss traffic leaving the city but also so the kids are asleep for a portion of the travelling. So we left home in north western Washington at 3am all loaded up headed for our first stop Ogden, Utah which was just shy of 13 hours away.  We travelled along i90, a path we are very familiar with, but given the construction was so glad it wasn't snowing because it was a serious mess. Not traffic wise but how they had the lanes laid out had me pretty thankful we weren't towing! 

None the less we deviated  and cut down i82 towards Yakima and eventually taking i84 towards Pendleton, Oregon. Now on this trip we have a very special guest with us, Flat Stanley came to us from our very good friends in Iowa; so we made sure to stop and take lots of pictures along our route. I84 eventually drops right down into Utah, which was absolutely magnificent! Such breathtaking views, despite the barrage of hooting and hollering that was coming out of the kids by this point in the day.

 We were eager to get to our hotel and get settled and go meet up with my longtime friend and her family, we had not seen each other in about 11 years! Luckily our hotel was within walking distance to everything so we were able to walk and get some pizza, stretch out before heading back to our hotel for a baby play date, a mommy catch up session and a daddy chat fest.


The next morning we were on the road by 4am and headed straight down towards Arizona, a place hubs and I swore we would never go too. Mainly because I didn't enjoy the heat or the landscape and neither did hubs, but alas here we were bombing down to the desert like a bat outta hell. We travelled along i89 right down the center of Utah, admiring the landscape.

Made a few stops, given our boys obsession for rocks we stopped at a few rock stores.  We eventually arrived at our destination about 7pm to get settled in our new corporate apartment which will be our home for a minimum of 4 months.

It's just beautiful here, never thought I would enjoy it this much. The weather has been brilliant, a warm 75-80 degrees with a light breeze keeps me comfy. Since losing 70lbs recently I was consistently freezing up in Washington. The boys have had tons of new experiences, new foods, new friends and even met new family.  Flat Stanley has been to  5 states, tons of attractions and is ready for more exploring. Matt has settled in his new position down here and we are all soaking up as much sun as our vitamin d deprived selves can! 

Some things I've learned about the desert, the air is dry, like really dry so bring the body butter and the humidifier. Our massive elephant shaped cool mist humidifier didn't make the cut when fitting things into the car so I purchased this tiny one from amazon, it's also a aromatherapy diffuser and nightlight; I couldn't be happier with it. Don't forget your sunglasses and sunscreen, especially if you're from Washington and your legs haven't seen the sun in four years!  Don't go bare foot anywhere and watch out for jumping cactus, well all cacti but most importantly those that jump! (kidding, kind of). 

And because I'm growing a tan in February I may have to look at an RV Resort to snowbird in next winter!! I am one spoiled mama!!

What does 27 feel like?

I recently celebrated my 27th birthday and was asked on multiple occasions, "So how's it feel to be 27?". I didn't know how to respond, naturally I wanted to say I feel like a train wreck and that I hope it gets better. I have spent the last three years having babies, my body is a wreck and so are my hormones. I am more exhausted than I have ever thought humanly possible. I eat, sleep and breathe my two beautiful boys. How do you think I feel? And I wanted to answer "Probably not like most 27 year olds." Which got me thinking and so I googled, " What's it like to be 27" with some glimmer of hope that someone could tell me what I was supposed to be doing with my life- besides turning on Mickey Mouse for a potty break and making bottles at 2 and 4 AM.  Where would the normal- Childless- 27 year old be.

* I say normal by the way because I still feel thrown into being a mom of two. One child I feel would be drastically different than two, so my life feels new or abnormal- not effortless (like it was before I had my kids).

The top four articles confirmed everything I was feeling, all the things I wanted to say to these people.  Life was not as I expected it would be even just 3 years ago;  But it was also no reason to compare my life to a crisis. 

According to these articles 27 is a pretty grim place to be. One title " 9 depressing reasons why 27 is the crisis year"  and "27 club" a list of people who have all died at 27. 27 is the make it or break it year apparently. We are fresh out of college, up to our eye balls in debt, feeling lost, being stuck between an adult with a learners permit and actual adulthood. But it's losing your brain- and quite literally, your body and hormones have all changed drastically and you may or may not be with child or unemployed or even worse all of the above. Essentially I woke up and everything has changed. UH I'm sorry, is that all? How does any one have that type of outlook on life and get up enough nerve to change it; That discription seems pretty bleak.

 

Here's what 27 feels like to me. Abnormal.  I feel like the magician's bird who was just changed to a woman. Quite literally a black and white difference.  So lets go back to my 25th birthday.I don't count my 26th birthday- because I was VERY pregnant and with an 11 month old.

 

There I was no kids, although I was pregnant; I still was entirely unaware at how much my life would be changing welcoming this one little boy into my life- and additionally welcoming another little boy into my life almost exactly a year later.I was clueless. I was a month before my due date and none of the mommy body signs had started to show- besides the swollen ankles. My job was to stay at home, drink water and sleep or whatever made my heart content on that day. My favorite pastime was quilting, singing and driving. My biggest fear was childbirth.

Or even more drastic lets go back to my 24th birthday which was spent with a bunch of beautiful girls dresses to the 9's, the red lip, the pumps and the hair. Perfect boobs saying hello from the low cut neckline of my dress. Having just finished another pinup photoshoot we were feeling on top of the world.

 

Today,  35lbs over weight with not so perfect breasts , about 5 hours short of a good nights sleep, my hair needs a good washing and I should've picked up razors at the store today. I've watched more Mickey this week than I have  anything else, likewise I have drank more coffee than I have anything else. My favorite pastimes are paying off bills and sleeping, oh, and eating a meal that's still hot.  Today my biggest fear is what kind of world are my children going to grow up in and how do I prepare them adequately.

 

But I am so much more than all that. I am a woman who loves her man fiercely, even though some days I am not myself.

 

I am a protective mama bear who would die protecting her cubs.

 

I am a CFO- for our family unit. I have paid off 12k in debt in 6 months. Which is now my success.

 

I am a best friend, a sister and a daughter, a chef, a maid, a baker, a nurse, a chauffer and the list goes on. I have learned in my 27 years how to treat those I love and how to make them feel my love and admiration.  I have learned to over come hardships and how to bake bread.

 

My life is not as I would have ever pictured it even just five years ago but change is always a constant isn't it? Things are always changing.

 

So I can confidently say that as a 27 year old mom to two boys I love with every fiber of my being and a wife to an amazing man. I am a changed woman. Physically, emotionally, mentally. Forever.

 

Love & Grilled Cheese,

Ashley

 

 



The four articles:

 

 1. 9 depressing reasons why 27 is your crisis year.

2. Highly Educated, Highly Indebted: The Lives of Today's 27-Year-Olds, In Charts

3.Old Age Begins at 27.

4.The 27 Club.

Welcome to Parenthood

Our son Liam Matthew Allen was born 8/17/2013 at 4:32 am.

After 9 months of research and educated decisions our tediously planned all natural home birth we welcomed this cute little face. Now you might say, "That looks an awful lot like a hospital room." Well you would be a hundred percent correct.

 

My due date was August 9th, and about the time the 5th rolled around I was READY. Being of short stature I couldn't breathe, I couldn't sit, stand or walk in any way that was deemed "comfortable" or aesthetically pleasing. But of course, being MY kid Liam was already doing things on his schedule. The 5th was the last night of our Bradley Method Birth Classes and knew for sure at that moment I was going to have my boy in a few days after a long hard labor and a gruesome delivery in our corner tub.

Well the 9th came and left and we were inching closer to the 22nd, which was the day Matt's parents were flying in so I was getting more and more anxious; to go along side that last month of no sleep to prepare you for the inevitable mommydom. Finally the 15th I caved (after having turned down exams my entire pregnancy) I was 4cm dilated! The CLA (CLA is the active ingredient in Prime Rose oil that helps to dilate and efface) was working. WHOOHOO. on the 16th Matt was deemed the first daddy in Cascade Birth Clinic history to do an exam and be correct.. But there was some concern that he was posterior ;by the morning of the 17th I was 7cm and wasn't really having the contractions I had prepared myself for. They were between 3-8 min apart lasting between 30 sec to a minute. I knew they were happening but they were not what I would consider painful. After some exercises and a chat with my little sister who was along for the ride I decided that I was getting to be "discomfortable" and  I wanted to sit in the tub for awhile. Well two hours later my contractions meant business. THIS was what I prepared for. We called the midwife and about midnight Jane and her birth assistant showed up.

 In between these horrifying contractions and trying to breathe them out, I kept thinking that this was the exact experience I wanted. Lights were low, everything was so peaceful. This was perfect, THIS was why women choose this. Its not about trying to prove something.

Well about 2:30 my water had not broke yet, so Jane broke my water, and supposedly in 15 min I would be holding my sweet baby boy. Except when she broke my water I didn't feel Liam move down, I felt him actually up higher, and BOY were the contractions even stronger, I didn't even think this was possible. So Jane checked me and in that moment a 2 ft long string of meconium shot out at the midwife. She so calmly asked if I could get out of the tub so she could check to make sure, and indeed he was breech.

Have you ever had the wind taken out of your sails and now your lost wandering at sea at the mercy of the ocean. This was me in this moment in my life. And then in that same moment I was mad, angry and discouraged. I stood up, put my nightgown on gathered my bag. (yes, this was not packed because I was not, not having my baby at home. And I was most certainly not going to welcome that into my universe by prepacking a bag) Welp the universe had its own plans. So I walked down the stairs and outside and stood and waited on my front porch for the ambulance to whisk me away to what I was sure the pits of hell.

Once at the hospital, I wont even get into the politics of my admitting committee and doctors and nurses and how I was appalled and angry and annoyed, Except my anger wore off and I was back in pain again and after SIGNING PAPERWORK. They wheeled me back for the scariest moment of my life so far.... I've never had surgery or anything so I had no idea what to expect and I was less than thrilled about this giant sized needle that was about to go in my back. 9 tries later.  My legs were numb, I was hooked up to more machines than I knew what to do with and I'm barking orders at these nurses, (because I didn't have my birth plan and I was crunchy to say the least with my birth plan, definitely not what you go to a hospital and get.) He was not to have shots, he was to do skin to skin with Matt. He wasn't going to leave Matt's sight at all. This voice from the other side of the curtain goes "Excuse me Ash-a-ree (he was Asian) I'm pressing scalpel to your abdomen can you feel this?". WHOA- Wait Where is Matt. "he is coming", Okay then slow your roll he needs to be there.

I am going to take this brief moment to say if anyone reading this is in charge of an OR, quit being a cheapskate and turn up the damn heat. I don't know if you know this but the whatever type of medicine they were pumping me full of was making me cold, and it was already 20 degrees in the room to start with.

In no time at all I could hear him, my boy. Matt said he was so beautiful.  I wish I could have seen it.  I got a brief moment with my new little family and then they were whisked back to my recovery room to do skin to skin and meet auntie charli and our amazing midwife who stayed there the whole time. in retrospect, there is so much about that day that I don't remember. I feel like I missed out on so much. If I am being honest with myself I feel divided about that day. While I am so thankful I have a happy healthy son and everything went smooth as butter given our last minute surprises; I cant help but feel upset about the whole thing.  And it makes me feel selfish, I guess. I wanted to see my son take his first breath, I wanted to do skin to skin and hold him and let him breastfeed, I wanted to hold him immediately. I wanted our voices to be the first he heard and our skin to be the first he touched. And instead I'm left with fog and with what Matt tells me happened that night.  But enough about me, Matt was a happy daddy!

 

While I was in the hospital I had maybe 5 hours of sleep, OMG lets talk about condensing room visits people.  Everyone at the hospital was great. EXCEPT two things, First they kept insisting on vaccinations and flu shots. Im sorry but No means no. And this heal "prick", Well that woman almost lost her life. They used a razor blade and then squeezed a vile of blood out of his foot and continued to squeeze his foot to fill up four circles the size of nickels. Firstly, I wasn't allowed to hold him or let him feed while doing this, secondly she was squeezing so hard he had bruises and his foot was tender for a  few days, and lastly why in the hell would you need so much blood. It took this lady 5 minutes to extract this and in the meanwhile he was screaming so hard and so upset he peed and pooped himself.  And for those reading this who have had a hospital birth, That is not normal, NOR is it the most humane way of handling that. At his one month check up the midwife wanted to do the same thing and when I declined she asked why. I told her my horror story and ended up in tears. She said no, you need to breastfeed him while we do this, and we just need four spots in the circles, no viles or anything of that sort. And we did, not a peep out of him!!!

 

And little did I know what a whirlwind the next months would be. Everyone talks about how bad recovering from a C-section is... In my opinion recovery has NOTHING on labor. I was showing my in-laws around downtown Seattle four days after having been discharged from the hospital. I know most people my lovely midwife included says to lay down.  But I firmly believe my recovery went so much quicker and better because I was up and moving around. I was taking spirulina to help my body regenerate and Serrapeptidies to help eat the scar tissue and I was GOLDEN! 

 

A Move, a Trip to Iowa and four months later here we are. I have the most adorable handsome little man ever. He is so smart and happy I could not be more proud.

 

I didn't get the birth  I wanted, I didn't get to breastfeed but I did get an amazing son that fills my heart up with so much love. I feel like the luckiest woman ever to get to wake up to these beautiful faces.

 

 

 

 

I think the first lesson my son has taught me, was you can have a game plan, but it doesn't mean it will work out that way. Oh by the way, WE'RE EXPECTING, again!

 

 

 

Merry Christmas from my family to yours!

 

 

Love,Ashley

Birth Classes... Preparing for THAT journey.....

So Matt and I started our mandatory birth classes with our midwife clinic. They are teaching the Bradley method, for those who are not aware of what that is you can read about it here. It's a husband coached natural child birth method. Which is perfect for Matt and I, he's the brains of the operation and I am here to be difficult and ask a shit ton of questions. So the roles go hand in hand, Just kidding. Ok, maybe not entirely...

The first class was short, was primarily introductions, and  different exercises to do to make sure that Liam knows which way is out.  They asked what you know and what you want to learn out of these classes,  that they have summed up in five weeks. (Which lands us the week before my DD). Matt and I, I'd like to think are pretty prepared, as far as textbook preparedness can take you in a journey that no two are ever the same... But I didn't want to look like a know-it-all, so we just put down this book that we (And I mean Matt) read called  "The Birth Partner" By Penny Simkin. I've browsed through this book and I would recommend this book to any first time couple/ dads, or anyone who is choosing to have an out of hospital birth. It really takes you step by step through the entire process. 

 So they also asked  what you want to learn, and since Matt and I are both control freaks (and we love the our midwife encourages being in control of your birth process) I put down probably the most common thing, Pain Management.  I've personally witnessed a couple of births, and I've seen the videos you know those videos that get up close and personal in the lady business... YEAH.  Now the difference you see is most of the home birth videos I have watch seems to be a whole different atmosphere. Very calm, very soothing almost. Where you can definitely understand that, that woman is on a journey that only she can get through. It looks so spiritual.  The hospital births I've seen weren't anything crazy like what you see on TV with people screaming and it looking like a murder scene. So my question to you guys, what kind of birth did you have? Was is the birth you wanted/ wrote out in your birth plan? If not what changed it? And what were your pain management techniques? Were your husbands there, do you feel like you couldn't have done it without him, or would you rather have done it with out him? What was the worst/ hardest part about your delivery?

I know people are having a hard time commenting, so I will try and figure out what the hold up is. But in the meanwhile, I really am interested in hearing this from everyone shoot me an email or a FB message, whatever is easier.

Love
Matt & Ashley

Familial Update.

Matt and I went to the midwife today and had the last of our bi-weekly check ups it's every week from here on out. Liam is doing well, has a very strong heart beat just like his daddy and is making plans for his debut. He's head down and is someday going to play soccer, I just have this feeling :) (somewhere near my ribs)...  We are having a healthy low-risk pregnancy and should have no problems birthing at home. Our midwives are spectacular CBC- Darlene Curtis and we are both getting very excited.

There are little reminders all over our home reminding us daily just how much this little guy is going to change our lives forever. In case you haven't received our thank you cards yet, or I haven't gotten a chance to speak with you personally since the baby shower we got everything we need to be able to have a great home for Liam to come into. So THANK YOU to everyone who came, or if you weren't able to come who sent love and stuff for Liam. It's really appreciated! We enjoyed reading the tip cards from the baby shower the most!

As I am sure most of you know our home is scheduled to sell at the end of August, Matt and I being the planners that we are have been feverishly trying to exercise all of our options for our next chapter. As much as Matt and I really want to move out of Washington and see other parts of the country we both feel this strong magnetism to this place for whatever reason its holding us hostage for lack of a better term. And since a rolling stone collects no moss, Matt is taking a direct position with Rolls Royce Effective 7/15/2013. Which means we will be here for a minimum of three more years. Which leads us into our next big endeavor.

We finally have had an offer accepted on our first home, the market out here is extremely competitive. The house is in Granite Falls and is in really good condition, or at least we think. Our inspection is scheduled for tomorrow and pending that that and the appraisal goes well *Cross your fingers and toes please* we will be able to move in at just about the right time August/September. The house is a perfect size for us and our growing family. Its a 1/3 acre lot fully fenced so Chevy, Tonka and eventually Liam will have lots of room to run. There's room for my garden and there's even a pre--poured slab laid out perfectly for Matt to add a shop/storage space for his cars and tools; in addition to the large two car garage. It's a little bit further from Matt's work than our current house, but we like that it's a little bit out of the way.. It's close to where we like to go hiking so YAY!

I know Matt and I miss his family in Iowa tremendously and its important to us that Liam knows his whole family, not just the family we have in Washington. So we are planning a trip out there, depending on when Liam arrives and when/if we close on this house sometime in September/October. I think it would be great to be able to see everyone and also meet some of Matt's friends that I have only have the pleasure of meeting  over Facebook. We will also be going through Matt's stuff in his storage units and most likely having a garage sale for whatever we don't want to bring back to Washington.  We are excited that as a part of Matt's benefits that he does get paid vacation time, we are planning to utilize that to be able to be more apart of our Iowa family instead of just coming to visit once a year over a weekend.

Please check out our other blog  for our homeopathic remedies (which I just updated with it's first posting). Which you can see here.  And another for any of our new projects we are undertaking.

Matt and I are also taking on a huge endeavor and both going back to school online this next year and with baby Liam we expect to have our hands full. So bare with us!

We love you all.
Matt&Ashley